What Is Your Body Language Really Saying? – Communicating can be a tricky business blog, especially if you’re in a particularly serious setting like a work meeting or you’re meeting someone new for the first time. Though words are obviously very important when it comes to making a positive impression, your body language can make or break a situation.
Many people you meet will subconsciously internalize the way you react to them or the situation via your gestures, stance and micro-expressions. Body language can help another person decide whether you’re trustworthy, likable, approachable or engaged in a conversation. Bernard Marr, a global enterprise performance expert, wrote in a LinkedIn post last year “you may have heard that you only have a few seconds to make a first impression”, but the truth is it can take “just milliseconds.”
“Until we get to know someone,” says Marr, “our brain relies on snap judgments to try to categorize the person, predict what they will do, and anticipate how we should react.”
That may sound incredibly intimidating, but thankfully there are ways you can ensure you’re not creating a bad first impression just by keeping a keen eye on your body language.
Smiling
The first thing you must remember is that most people will be able to tell the difference between your fake, what-are-you-talking-about smile and a real genuine grin. For example, if you smile for more than five seconds without engaging your eye muscles then your audience will most likely be able to tell you’re faking it.
However, if you’re predisposed to beam and you partake in a grin often you will seem far less serious and intimidating to those around you.
Eye Contact
There’s a theory in the world of business referring to eye contact called a ‘kiss or kill’ situation. It’s thought that if you hold intense eye contact with an individual for longer than three seconds you are signifying attraction or an urge to attack, so body language experts have come up with alternative methods you can use to remain engaged without being intimate or intimidating. Specialists suggest that whilst you are listening to another person you look at them for 80% of the time, but when you’re speaking you lower this to 50%. When you make eye contact make sure you look up when you look away not down, as the latter could signify you’re deep in though rather than listening.
Blinking
The average individual blinks only 6-8 times a minute, although it’s probably more than that now because you’ll be way too focused on your blink-rate like I am. If you’re stressed or anxious you will most likely be blinking an excessive amount, so if you want to seem like you’re under no pressure at all try to regulate your blinking.
Closing Your Eyes
Closing, rubbing or covering your eyes is an interesting gesture as it suggests you’re avoiding particular auditory or visual cues from another individual. This is often considered a survival mechanism to stop the brain processing threatening information.
Moving Your Eyebrows
Laura Guerrero, a professor of communication at the Arizona State University Hugh Downs School of Human Communication, in Tempe says “raised eyebrows, one or both, is a true expression of piqued curiosity and interest, while lowered eyebrows can indicate negative emotions, such as confusion and fear.”
Touching Your Face
There are many myths about individuals who touch their face often, most commonly that they’re liars. This isn’t necessarily the truth as face touching usually indicates anxiety, which can be caused by numerous different stimuli, not just lying. If you see someone else touching their face a lot, it may be best to ask if they’re okay as they may be uncomfortable or worried.
Biting Your Lip
Psychologist Carol Kinsey Goman suggests that lip biting is an obvious sign of awkwardness, as biting, sucking or chewing your lip is a self-soothing movement.
Pursing Your Lips
There’s no doubt about it, this is a sign of anger according to Paul Ekman of the University of California in San Francisco, as it’s impossible to recreate a genuine lip purse.
Nodding Your Head
If you wish to continue a conversation, it’s best to nod your head in threes. This shows that you are engaged and interested in what the other person is saying and can even lengthen their response. However, if you want some to stop talking limit your nods to one at a time.
Hiding Your Hands
When you hide you’re hands your creating an air of deceit by signaling to those with you that you’re hiding something from them.
Hand Gestures
If you’re done with a conversation or negotiation than it’s best to leave your palms facing downwards when making hand gestures as this is a closed motion. It will hopefully signify to the other person or people to stop pushing and demanding your attention. If you leave your palms facing upwards however, you show you are open and will encourage collaboration.
Crossing Your Arms
There’s a common myth that when someone crosses their arms it simply means they’re angry and trying to stop themselves from smacking you in the face, but this isn’t always the case. Crossed arms could just signify that a person is cold, unless crossed legs accompany it and then it becomes a defensive stance.
Flailing Your Arms
Although they may look like Kermit having a fit, research suggests that individuals who make a lot of arm and hand gestures are actually seen as energetic and engaging. But, as with all things, moderation is crucial as too much crazy arm waving will make you appear frantic and a bit bonkers.
Swaying
Do you ever find yourself shifting your weight when you stand? “The way you move your body reflects your attitude,” says Goman, so if you’re shifting your weight you could be suggesting you have raised anxiety levels and are seeking comfort in rocking back and forth. Swaying his can be particularly detrimental if you’re giving a presentation, as you will create a pendulum affect with your body that will cause your audience to stop listening. Instead, practice standing tall and still to appear more confident and command a room.
Standing With Your Legs Together Or Open
Whilst standing with your legs together simply shows respect, standing with your legs shoulder width apart suggests dominance, or that you are literally standing your ground. “Easy Finance4u” By placing your hands on your hips you create one of the ultimate power stances.
Angling Yourself
The majority of people will subconsciously angle themselves towards the individual their paying most attention to. However, if you want to make someone feel comfortable entering a conversation angle your bodies towards them a little.
