According to statistics, one in three marriages in Australia end in divorce. And when the divorce happens and regardless of the circumstances of it, children are those who suffer the most.
No matter how hard you try to lessen the blow, you are dismantling a family and abruptly changing the only life your child has ever known. Of course, it is going to be challenging and your child is going to be affected by everything going on.
However, you as a parent have the responsibility and duty to explain everything to your child and make the process less painful and stressful. If you don’t know how to make your child feel safe when you’re going through a divorce, here how to deal with divorce as a child.
1. Talk to your children together
Reasons for the divorce aside, you and your partner have the responsibility of sharing this news with your children. The worst possible thing that you could do in this situation is let your child find out about the divorce from someone else.
Also, when telling your children about the divorce, don’t do it on your own. By doing it alone you’re giving them the impression that the other parent is responsible for the divorce. If this happens, your children will feel like they have to choose sides – which is the worst thing that can happen to them.
On the other hand, if you make a family meeting and explain everything to them nicely, how it was a mutual decision and how you no longer feel happy together but that you’ll always be a family – things may seem less scary to kids.
Change is a scary thing for children, no matter their age. But if you tell them together and if they still see you as together as a unit, things may seem a little less daunting.
2. Let them express their emotions
When it comes to divorces, many feelings are mixed together, especially for children. Children will have different reactions to your news about the divorce. Every child’s reaction will be different. Some will feel sad, others will be angry and you’ll probably even get indifference from some children.
The important thing is to let them express their emotions and don’t tell them not to cry, feel sad or be mad. Don’t patronize them just let them process everything in their own way. Just be there for them, let them get their emotions out and in order.
3. Involve a divorce and family lawyer
How to help a child deal with divorce – Divorce is a legal matter and the best idea would be to hire a divorce lawyer. There are probably many legal things going through a divorce with a child that you know very little about. For example, under Australian family law, children have the right to be protected from harm and to have a relationship with both parents.
Reputable and reliable divorce lawyers from Sydney can help you a lot during this transition and will also give you good advice and make sure your children are safe and protected during this whole process.
So, if you are going through a divorce, don’t wait a minute longer to hire the best divorce and family lawyers in Sydney.
4. Tell your children how are things going to be from now on
Another crucial step is to inform your children about future plans. Will they need to move, who will they get to stay with and many more similar questions will arise.
This is another good reason to hire a good family lawyer. Before discussing anything with the kids, make sure you consult with your lawyer. Both parents will have to agree about who will get the children and who will get visitation rights. It’s best for the children if the agreement is made by both parents without fights and court battles.
Think about your children’s well-being and put their needs over yours. Only after you’ve come to an agreement, you can talk to your children about what the future holds for all of you.
5. Put your children’s well-being first
The divorce is going to be tough on everyone involved, but you should always put your children first. If you notice that your children are stressed and have a hard time coping with everything going on, dedicate yourself to them completely.
You’ll notice in your children’s behavior and reactions if something is wrong. Some children will change their behavior when stressed, they will start acting out, others will withdraw and become insecure. There will also be children who will start doing everything to get your attention – even the destructive things.
All this is a sign that they are stressed and you need to react. What you can do to help them cope in these stressful times is provide a safe environment for them, try to stick to a routine that they are familiar with, and just get them to open up. Listen to them and let them get everything off their chest.
Divorce is one of the most difficult things for everyone involved, especially kids. All emotions are running high, the fear of inevitable change, stress, and many more things. There is nothing easy about divorce.
However, you can make things easier on your children by using these methods that will help them understand what’s going on and help them cope with the situation.
