Do you want the secret of confident people?
Almost all people experience one event in their lives that negatively affects their self-confidence.
Not getting the job you want…
Receiving negative feedback…
Overhearing snide remarks from colleagues…
These can all influence how we feel about ourselves. If we are not careful, these negative states can start to linger sapping you of all the energy required to take action.
A person’s mind operates according to feedback loops that can either boost our self-esteem or cause negative emotions.
Albert Bandura, a renowned psychologist in behavioural psychology, stated that a person’s beliefs about themselves shape a life resulting in a specific way of acting, thinking and feeling.
The self-concept is a secret driving force in one’s life, and the more stable this concept is the less likely you are to experience negative setbacks. A positive self-concept also results in more confidence with the urge to engage in behaviour leading to resilience, growth and self-esteem.
A person’s emotion ‘in the moment’ can have a profound influence on who you become later in life. The science of happiness indicates that positive emotions are more under control than previously imagined.
A cheery outlook on life might be inherited, but a positive approach to life can be built using voluntary activities. If you feel a need to fight the voice in your head questioning all your abilities and beating you for apparent failure, then join the ride to overcoming yo-yo confidence.
1: Show compassion to yourself
Failures and setbacks are a part of normal life; however, a voice in one’s head is reserved to berate you and offer negative commentary when experiencing a failure.
According to anxiety experts at Act Now Hypnosis, being your own supporter with a kind voice offers the space to analyse actions without any judgment. They explain “you can hold yourself in high esteem and acceptance; thus, developing the courage to head out and behave in the correct manner. If you find it difficult to be there for yourself, imagine what you would say to a friend or colleague who has experienced failure. Now, can you offer yourself the same appreciation and insight?”
2: Turn Off Thoughts
While it is important for one to listen to their thoughts, it is equally significant to know how to turn the thoughts off.
The human mind can be a tormentor where we replay negative thoughts continuously, pulling ourselves further down into a state of distorted pessimism and resulting in anxiety.
Considering the social world, we live in and human nature, many of the thoughts where we judge ourselves are turned against other people. Allowing the appearances and achievements of others to define self-confidence is potentially the most self-sabotaging behaviour.
As a tip, hypnosis trainers Mindset Mastery suggest “if you find you are measuring yourself against other ‘perfect’ people, you should place a halt on these thoughts immediately using thought distraction techniques such as listening to music or jogging.”
3: Lean On A Circle Of Support
While self-confidence is the key to overall confidence, the neural architecture of internal beliefs places us in a constant narrative with other people.
The secret of confident people is in part being surrounded by supporters.
When surrounded by supportive family, friends and colleagues who genuinely want you to succeed, you will experience a sense of positivity resulting in real confidence. Have you identified your circle of support?
4: Practicing Gratitude And Positivity
People have insatiable limbic systems that continue to yearn for more stimulation.
In a world with restricted options, and an unrealistic desire for perfection, it is easy to see why people feel unhappy. Shining a torch of awareness on negativity is the best way of overcoming unhappiness.
Practice self-gratitude by listing all things in your life that have a sense of worth. Not only will this calm the limbic system, but it can also help remind you of your positive characteristics. This can be something associated with your job, your family or your body.
As the team from Splish Splash Swimwear point out “more than just feeling comfortable physically, the right swimsuit will boost your confidence and that should always be factored into the swimsuit you buy.” This applies to the clothes you wear and the wider life you live.
Start noticing everything that makes you feel happy and positive, and you’ll begin to cultivate confidence.
For instance, the well-known ‘Three Good Things’ exercise requires people to notice and appreciate three good things about themselves each day.
According to the kinesiologists at Shenko Vitality, getting out and moving the body can also help. They explain “physical well being is connected to mental wellbeing. Spending time each day in the sun, or engaging in physical activities, can help stimulate positive self image and confidence.”
5: Identify Your Purpose
The human search for meaning evolved as a response to the uncertainty of life and one’s realisation of this concept.
Dr Roy Baumeister, a researcher in this field, states that having meaningful purpose aligned to your values and strengths can increase feelings of self-confidence.
Failures, setbacks, difficult situations and dealing with snide comments will take a backseat when you identify a goal in life that burns with a strong glow or passion. Positive emotions help improve confidence encouraging people to take purposeful action instead of feeling depressed.
Enjoying these moments of growth allows people to enter long-term memory and form an image of oneself using a positive lens. This is one of the best ways to build long-lasting self-confidence.
6: Remembering The Power Of ‘Yet’
Setbacks and obstacles can feel horrible when they occur resulting in feelings of depression and hopelessness where we believe there is nothing you can do to change the situation.
According to Stanford psychologist, Carol Dweck, one should adhere to a ‘growth mindset’ to overcome these emotions. This mindset reminds one of the brain’s neuroplasticity and its ability to learn or grow when forming new connections. If you feel dejected by a setback, remind yourself about the power of ‘yet’.
You may not have mastered the power of ‘yet’, but it is in your power.
The secret of confident people isn’t really a secret at all.
Follow these steps and start making small changes to see big improvements down the line.
